Gifts....great and small.

I feel I have been given something very special...a gift, a new sensory organ; even a new super power. What is this gift ? It is my baldness...my bright shiny bald head. It's hard to describe how it feels to be completely bald for the first time since being a baby. At first I suppose I was a bit worried about not having hair; what if I have a weird shaped skull, what if my ears really stick out what if...? Things that, of course, don't matter at all. But it turns out my skull is ok, my ears behave themselves, no 'slightly bat' for me!

But not having hair is simply amazing. Unlike Samson, I feel more empowered with the loss of my hair. True I haven't gone shopping baring all, not yet, but I have walked across the moor in warm sunshine, cooling mist and howling gales and felt the weather hit me full slap on the bare head. All I can say is that it's like being given a new sensory organ. It feels like all my senses are concentrated on my head so I can feel every single tiny droplet of mist gently touch and moisten my skin and the few spiky hairs that are still there. The breeze feels like it is ever so softly stroking my head giving it the gift of sublime softness. Strong wind feels like it is partying on my head in gay abandon..a tiny little storm concentrated on my baldness and just for me. Each breath of wind awakens my nerve endings, each one celebrating in the feeling of being touched for the first time in so long. Sunshine, oh sunshine I can't get enough of it on my bald head. The surprising and rare February sunshine feels like warmth touching me for the first time. I even plunged my head into an ice cold moorland stream to feel the other extreme. I wanted to feel freezing cold on my head...I knew I'd love it and I did. Actually it was so cold I didn't really feel anything when my head was under water but once I had taken my head out and the sense of feeling returned..oh wow the pain and pleasure was intense, red hot to ice blue... all the colours of sensation hitting my head at the same time, head sliced open, but in a good way. 

Whenever me and the dogs are out and about on the moor I take off my hat and revel in the feeling that my new super sensory power has given me....the power of supreme feeling. Whenever I'm out on my bike I take off my helmet for a short while and feel the wind ripping into my skin and dead hair follicles. The sensory overload is wonderful and makes me think everyone should shave their heads once in their life, because it is a gift and I'm still loving every minute of it....mostly.

The other thing I have been given, and this is nothing new, but the other thing I have been given is the most amazing friends.  A wonderful group of people scattered all over the world who really care. How did I get so lucky? How do I deserve to have such wonderful people surrounding me and supporting me and showing how much they care. This probably isn't the place to thank people but I hope you all know how amazed I am at your brilliance. How humbled I am by your love and how overwhelmed I am at all the gestures large and small that come my way every day. 

Friends who I see and talk to often but who make that extra call and send that extra text just to say that they are still there...always. My mother who remembers to call me every single day....every day!! She has learned how to negotiate FB, and email...although sometimes she still relies on Tosh to do the scanning and sending; together they sent this photo of me when I was first bald!!  She always comments on my posts, and reminds me every day to 'please wear gloves' when I'm doing press-ups. (I never do) but I appreciate the sentiment.

The internet is a brilliant thing; for free I can talk to friends on the other side of the 'pond' and on the other side of the world. I am so grateful to my lovely Jen in Brooklyn who calls me all the time just to see...yesterday we chatted as she rode her bike around Brooklyn under the bluest sky. 

I  get daily photos and messages from the wonderful Ruth (AKA Rosie!) a friend who over the years has shared the darkest moments in my life but who I can go years without seeing...this cancer has brought her back into my life daily.

The wonderful family that is Kamaji...all those amazing women I spent five life-changing summers with, over 30 years ago. The love and support and pure overwhelming brilliance I have received from them is....? well it leaves me speechless. The gesture that Emily shared with me yesterday evening was one of the kindest things that I have been witness to...more of that at some later date...

And the soul sisters...what can I say? Those women who I paddled through the Canadian Boundary Waters with have been there all along the way just saying and doing the right things. 
To all my friends...near and far I don't deserve you but I am so glad that you are there...doing press-ups and coming along on this thing with me...thank you for being the best gift of all.