Bit of a lull.

Sometimes there's a lull....and that's where I'm at right now. I'm halfway through my CHOP chemo treatment and things are calm and doing their stuff.

When I found out I had cancer of course I felt pretty un-calm, scared about what this might mean for my future but also nervous about the prospect of treatment...specifically chemotherapy. That word just has connotations, cancer strikes up all sorts of images but so does chemo. Baldness, feeling sick and too ill to move, being hooked up to a machine for hours and days on end, being a patient, an ill patient. Of course all these can be true and are; there are many types of chemo and many more types of reaction to that chemo. But I am the first to admit that I have been lucky. When the chemicals get pumped into my veins the goodness of all the poison really seems to be working. The pain that I have had for these last few months has all but disappeared. I used to mark my days by how many pain killers I could take, and when I was able to take more but now I mark my days by counting press - ups!

I do have side effects from the chemo, one of which is peripheral neuropathy. Tingling, pain and numbness in my finger tips which does seem to be getting worse with each chemo dose. Then there's the usual.... swollen glands, uncomfortable and nasty taste in my mouth and the obvious loss of my hair. These are minor things to have to deal with & the trade-off seems very one sided; I get a few minor side effects and the tumour agrees to shrink back and (I hope) cease to be a problem.

Next week I get to see what is happening inside me as I go for a CT scan which should hopefully show that things are indeed moving in the right direction, the direction of remission and that with this I will be able to undertake stem cell treatment later in the year.

Later in the year when all around me will be out and about enjoying the warm weather. I know it's only one year, one season but I don't mind telling you that I'm really not looking forward to seeing all those around me doing triathlons and open water swims. These are the things I want to fill my summer with, to push myself and compete with others and enjoy the thrill of competition and the buzz of a shared experience. I know it's only one year, one small sacrifice but for me it's gonna be tough. Just makes me think that when I'm better I'm going to have to come back with some hell of a challenge, something to make up for this lost year.

 My doctor tells me that during stem cell treatment I will need to breath filtered air and not be able to go outside and not have visitors and just dream about being out on the moor with Rachel and the dogs or swimming in the sea or cycling up impossible Exmoor hills.  So I will have to spend that time dreaming up what I can come back with, what adventure would be a suitable entry back into real life. 

Last week, through FB and a mutual friend, I learned about an amazing lady,  Freya Rodger, who after coming through and surviving Lymphoma decided  to complete all 41 of the sports women could enter at Rio 2016, during the spell of the games. Her story is amazing and funny and truly inspiring. Just think about it...doing all those sports over the course of a month...wrestling, pole vault, Triathlon, dressage and archery. What an awesome idea and a brilliant way to kick cancer in the face and to get on with living. 
Her story is well worth reading, my favourite part of her story is when she tried her hand at BMX with a bunch of 8 year olds in the local park, just brilliant. I'm attaching a link here...http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/meet-amazing-the-55-year-old-cancer-survivor-completing-41-olymp/

Talking of challenges, whilst I'm in hospital Rachel will be training for her half marathon challenge in September, she would be so grateful for any donations to her cause...the Lymphoma Association. There's a link in the side bar of our blog page and I have also included it here. Thank you so much, and thank you for all the amazing donations that have already come in, just brilliant, thank you.
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/run-or-die

So I will enjoy this lull, after all I'm feeling pretty good and enjoying being pain free. I will try my hardest to embrace the difficulties that are yet to come and plan one hell of a come back!