Cliff Hanger...

"No no no no no, Marty, both you and Jennifer turn out fine. It's your kids, Marty, something has got to be done about your kids."...

"Chewie, I'll be waiting for your signal. Take care, you two. May the force be with you."...

"Who's there...?" 2 Shots fired....

I don't really like a cliff hanger...I like things to be wrapped up neatly so I can go away happy...or sad or confused or inspired. But whatever the emotion I like closure.
So the last few weeks has been pretty amazing but also felt like a long drawn out cliffhanger. I have had this mini break; literally, as we went to glorious Norfolk and also as I was able to swim and go to work but more importantly a break from chemo and hospitals and needles and everything else that makes you feel like a patient and makes you feel ill.  But at the same time always wondering, what was going on in my body? 

My oncologist, Dr. Veale, (actually he's a Consultant Haematologist) emailed me on Thursday and told me that I would still be meeting him the next day but I should be prepared to have CHOP too! I emailed him back...'Does that mean I'm lymphoma free?' He replied...'It's complicated!'...  A mini cliff hanger! Maybe a bit of will they? won't they?...Ross and Rachel type scenario?  So on Friday we met with Dr Veale, and he tried to explain the results of the last biopsy..... the last 7 week's cliff hanger was finally reaching its denouement... did I still have lymphoma defying the chemo or was the CHOP working? 

The results of the biopsy are indeed complicated. The bone marrow samples didn't show any active lymphoma, but they did show that the bone in that area (my sacrum) is dead! This is in itself apparently very unusual and has flummoxed the medical team. One theory is that because High Grade Lymphoma grows so quickly it can literally outgrow itself and can therefore die on the inside so there is a possibility that there is active lymphoma on the outside and dead bone on the inside where they took the biopsy from. The Consultant Radiologist wanted to do yet another biopsy to confirm or deny this, taking a sample from the outside of the abnormal area but the team have agreed that this probably wouldn't change treatment so they are continuing with CHOP and assuming that this is so unusual that the explanation is not sinister and the bone will eventually heal. 


Satisfactory conclusion to the cliff hanger? Its the best we're going to get right now! So I had my last Chemo yesterday with Jenny the brilliant chemo nurse administering the CHOP. All of the staff in the Seamoor Unit are amazing and so are all the other patients, people with whom you share intimate moments at very close quarters. I met some pretty cool people people who are all dealing with this card in their own way.

One such patient, who I didn't actually meet but who has left in her chemo wake a lasting legacy, is Lisa Wallis a two time cancer survivor with lots of experience of Chemo. She set up this amazing charity where each patient who has chemo in the Seamoor Unit gets given a care package; a specially designed box absolutely chock-a-block with stuff, all of it useful to someone going through chemo! So no shampoo but all the gifts have been carefully thought about to be useful or practical or just a nice gift. Her charity is called ChemoHero. I have included the link here if you fancy having a little look. Amazing what one woman can do to make a difference.   https://chemohero.org  I received my box on my last chemo. It was wonderful, like a reward at the end of 6 months of treatment!

Back to the treatment plan. I had my final CHOP and now I have 10 days of injections to boost my stem cell production. I can't remember the number of stem cells I have to produce but I think its something like 2,000,000 per Kg of body weight. Sounds a lot to me. The injections are small and Rachel can administer them daily but the side effects can be painful. The reason for this is that the bones produce all these millions of stem cells in the marrow at an alarming rate and because there are so many of them they are forced out into the blood stream. It is that forcing of cells from bone to blood which apparently makes your bones ache. We'll see, I've coped pretty well with side effects so far. Then in 10 days time I go into hospital to have the stem cells harvested, seems an appropriate time of year for that! These then get put on ice until sometime in August when I go back into hospital for more chemo followed by the stem cell transplant. That's the one I'm not looking forward to but there's a whole lot of good stuff going on before then that I can't wait to write about. Stuff that is all entirely due to the brilliantness of my friends near and far. I mentioned it's amazing what one woman can do; it's mind-blowing what a whole sisterhood can do! More on that at a later date.

So, sorry this has just been an update on medical stuff, but I just want to thank you all again for caring so much and for wanting to know what is going on.

What is going on? In another week of horrifying events I am reminded that whilst this is a tough journey I am on, it pales into insignificance compared to the terrible plight of the people of Grenfell Tower in West London. Such scenes of utter desperation and sadness, but again it is the ordinary people that prove to be the strength and support and caregivers at a time of absolute need. Not the Government or the Council, but people who care. Thank God for people who care....Thank God for you all.

Finally back to my opening words, my cliff hangers, did you all work out where they're from? Well I'll tell you next time! We're off for a swim in our pond. 

Picture taken today at the pond by Barbara