The other one...

Hello there, it's Rachel here. I thought it was about time I gave this blogging lark a go. Nick always says I like to jump on her bandwagon! So many of you have been asking how I am which is very kind of you as I'm not the one suffering pain, not the one struggling to walk, not the one facing a long road of potentially gruelling treatment. I'm the other one, I just have to walk a bit slower than usual (which means I get to notice more) and wear an extra layer to stay warm; it's really no trouble. There's been some sleepless nights, a lot of worry, a lot of waiting for information and a fair amount of dread. But mostly there's been a lot of love coming our way from all our fabulous friends & families. I'm fine. A therapist once told me that 'fine' is another way of saying you're  'f***ed off, insecure, neurotic and exhausted'!! Those have all been true over the last few weeks but I guess that's to be expected. On balance there has been more joy than sadness though, again largely thanks to all those we are surrounded by. And our fabulous dogs of course who always share their joy and allow us to bury our heads in the sand when we need to. Cancer? What cancer?
Today was day one of chemo so there was no head-burying. Eyes wide open time. This is something that happens to other people, how dare it come here to our little piece of heaven, disrupt our lives, mess with our heads...but here it is, with its syringes full of drugs, its cheerfully coloured reclining chairs, its bright & breezy chemo unit & its proliferation of medication to manage the side effects. Thankfully it also comes with incredibly caring professionals, empathetic but never patronising, hoping to cheer you up but never forgetting the reality of why you're there
 So the drugs went in and now we can only hope that they do their job without leaving too much destruction in their wake but you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs and all that. One down, five to go. Fight fire with fire. Speaking of eggs, turns out the demolition of the immune system is such that you can't eat soft-boiled eggs while you're having chemo. Or have blue cheese, live yoghurt or Kombucha and, as our water comes straight from a spring, unfiltered and pure, we now have to boil it...a few small sacrifices, but again not for me so I can count myself lucky that I am the other one.