What a difference a few days make

What a difference a few days make.....

When I wrote my first post things felt a million miles away from where they are now...
Firstly I had this big decision to make about what direction my treatment would take me; Secondly I could pretty much walk without too much pain for short distances; and thirdly I was doing press-ups all over the place with many of my friends wondering what on earth I was doing!!

Now things feel quite different....
On Friday, Rachel and I saw my consultant (another  lovely Dr. V. who I trust completely)  to try and decide what to do about tackling this big C raging about my body. I had decided that I was going to steer clear of the SMILE regime for the reasons I mentioned in my last blog. I just didn't think that it would stand me in good enough shape to face any further treatment I may need later. Phew....!! that was a huge deal for me to put that treatment to one side, as on paper, it possibly offered the best chance of success...but at what price? So I have chosen to go with CHOP.  A very common, well tried and tested chemo that is administered as an outpatient on a 3 weekly cycle for about 20 weeks (all going well) This is the treatment that offers me a fairly good chance of a remission which is what I need- to possibly go for Stem cell treatment later on down the road. But importantly it also offers me some quality of life during treatment, a chance to be home for much of the time, a chance to spend time with those I love, a chance to see the sky and be in the outdoors..still no swimming though! 

Of course I know that it's going to be really tough but the pay off is going to be worth it. Pretty much daily I feel myself getting weaker, this morning my legs just wouldn't work very well, It took me an hour to get to my spot along the valley to do my press-ups, I walked with a stick and each step really hurt. This walk normally takes 20 minutes from my front door (well side door!) slightly less if I run! The struggle of the chemo will be worth it to start to take away this pain and give me back my long, fast stride again...and to help me keep up with my dogs, who let's face it, don't have long legs but are still out walking me right now.

The third and most important difference that these few days have made is the out pouring of support and love from all the very special people who I am lucky enough to call my friends. 

What I love more than anything are the amazing press-ups that have been flowing in from all over the place...Australian  and Devon beaches, British snowy balconies and front rooms,  South African swimming pools, American classrooms and gyms,  and  even two tiny babies lifting their heads up off the floor! This has made me think that I would so love to share all these amazing people doing these brilliant press-ups. So I'm gonna make a FB page dedicated to press-ups, dedicated to the positive energy of us all doing the same thing together. Wow that thought makes me so happy, I really hope you will maybe share a press-up or two there when I get it going. It's worth just going to take a sneaky peak because they are all the most uplifting, wonderful and in some cases bloody hilarious few moments of friends doing what come best... lying on the floor and trying to get up and down without falling on their face.

On Monday I go the Seamoor Unit (I love the sea, I adore the Moor, so that's a good start) to have my first chemo treatment, nervous but buoyed up by all the support from you all. You couldn't all fit into the treatment room, which BTW under the circumstances, looks pretty amazing. But in spirit you can definitely all fit so I'm taking you with me - if that's ok?

This is a snapshot of the MRI scan taken of my spine. The lymphoma has taken up residence in various places in my body but not my lymph system -this makes it weird. The scan shows where it has lodged into my spine. The sacrum at the bottom of the shot is black, this is a tumour in and around the bone. If you look carefully at the vertebrae at the top of the shot it is also black...also a tumour. I stared at this image for a long time and the only thing I could really think was that it reminded me of something from Aliens...fitting really, a tiny thing growing in my body who's only goal is to wreak havoc and wage war. Luckily Aliens is one of my favourite films and when I lose my hair, Ripley, (AKA Sigourney Weaver) will be my role model..a kick ass, take no bullshit kinda girl. 

So that's where I'm at. Thank you for taking the time to read this, thank you for being there, thank you for all the press-ups ( push-ups for the yanks!) and by the time I write again I will have had chemo pumped into my body for the first time.......