The Christmas Special.

I love this time of year, I love the soft milky winter light of a foggy day, crisp blue sky days dazzling diamonds of frost and snow, being up as the sun rises and there to witness it when it sets. Nature's systems and animals slow down or even close down and prepare for the cold dark months ahead before the warmth of spring touches the land and once again re-awakens her.


For me though this year the beginning of winter has been particularly busy. In my head and and in my life. I have found it almost impossible no to spend time thinking what I was up to this time last year. It was in the first days of December that I discovered I had cancer and christmas that I found out it was Lymphoma. Here I am a year later in remission and feeling stronger and stronger. I have started swimming, (even swimming in an icy Exmoor pond!) gently running and I went out on my bike the other day for the first time in ages (which felt wonderful). Life is returning to normal. So the thoughts in my head, whilst they are often busy reflecting on a year ago, they are also busy thinking about the here and now and doing stuff that I love to do and doing stuff that will help me get fit and strong again. The getting fit and strong again is tough, both mentally and physically as it feels like such a long road to get close to where I was 18 months or so ago, but it's certainly a better road to travel than the one I was on last year. 

The other thing that has kept us busy is planning for and hosting visits from friends from far and wide. Over the last few weeks we have had visits from three wonderful friends from America. Each moment and second they were here was special, each moment needed to be breathed in and cherished, each moment was a gift. These were friends that I met at camp over 30 years ago and have kept in touch with ever since, these are friends that I don't see every year but friends whose friendship is as fresh and real as was all those years ago back in the Northwoods of Minnesota. They came to be with us, and as it turned out to celebrate the news of remission, but when we planned the visits months ago we didn't know how I might be. This is the power of friendship and I am so grateful for it and for the wonderful times we had during their stay. In the new year I have some more friends coming over from the States two of whom I haven't seen in many many years and one who it must be 20 years since we were last together. I am so excited to spend time with them and so grateful that they are making the effort to make this trip over....getting to the middle of nowhere isn't easy but it's a great place to be and spend time once you're here. 

Here we are in the darkest days of winter, celebrations light up homes with twinkling lights and candles and maybe that's a bit how I see some of the highlights of my last year. Some pretty dark days, with dark thoughts and dark feelings about the present and the future. But lighting up those days were all the wonderful things that happened, things I have written about many times over the last few months, things I will never forget. And those twinkly lights continue to shine, whether it's brilliant visits from far away friends, or swimming ten more lengths than the last time I was in the pool, or getting on my bike again, swimming in the sea, tasting food properly again, putting on weight, not having pain, walking further across the moor with the dogs, not filming press-ups anymore. (As I write this I have only 3 more days of press-ups to film before I put the project well and truly to bed!) Anyway these are all the twinkling lights of my winter, press-ups is maybe the star on the top of it all, but it has all combined to bring light and colour and warmth to the some pretty dark days, and from now the days begin to draw out and get a little lighter each day... something to truly rejoice in.

We would both like to wish you all light and warmth in the cold, dark days of winter. May there be plenty of blue sky twinkly days, and shimmering foggy days and days when being by the fire is the only thing to do. Mostly a big thank you to you all for being there and reading this and sharing in our journey over the last year. May 2018 bring peace, joy and more stability than the days of 2017 as the earth makes another turn.