Reconnecting

On Friday we took two small dogs into a hospital ward in a bag. Why wouldn't we? 

Many years ago we did the same thing when Nick's mother was in hospital having an operation, we smuggled two dogs into her room in a bag. It was all fine until we heard a nurse coming on the drug round and I had to hide in the bathroom with the dogs hoping they wouldn't bark! We eventually escaped by one of us passing them out of the window in the bag to the other. So the thought of doing this again was causing me some concern as you might appreciate.

This time was different though, Nick got permission from the nursing staff after I was adamant that I wasn't going to do the smuggling thing again. The reason for this latest mission was to reunite one of our dogs, Anya, with her previous owner Mrs Daws. About 18 months ago we received a call from Mrs Daws out of the blue asking if we would be prepared to take on her 10yr old miniature Yorkshire Terrier, Anya, who she was struggling to cope with due to her own ill health (and to a certain extent Anya's behaviour!!) We had previously taken 2 other dogs from her, Raoul a super-cool stud dog who died a few years ago, and Katie, Raoul's daughter who is still going strong aged 13.
 At almost 80 years of age Mrs Daws was understandably sad to have to acknowledge that she could no longer manage both of her dogs Didi and Anya but she was confident that we could give Anya a good few years. When we got her she had never really been for much of a walk but had always enjoyed the garden, mostly from indoors looking out apparently. It took a while for her to gain confidence coming out for walks with us (especially as it rained every day for two months when she first arrived that November!) She didn't like long wet grass or stony tracks or uneven ground, she'd never been let off the lead or crossed a stream or chased a ball. She is now the craziest, most feisty little dog imaginable! She runs so hard after a ball that she topples head over heels, shakes herself down, gets right back up and keeps running, her bandy weak little legs doing their best to keep up with her sheer determination to be first to the ball. She leads the way down to the river barking like mad at the other dogs, she ran down the beach in Norfolk, straight into the sea and swam out to me without giving it a second thought. 

She's come a long way, she lives absolutely in the moment presumably without a backward thought to her much more sheltered existence in her previous life. She loves unconditionally and wholeheartedly. She also bites people's ankles and feet when they visit the house but we're working on that. So who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?  She is particularly attached to Nick (as Raoul was to me) which I think is no surprise given that they share that feisty fighting spirit, that sheer bloody mindedness as well as a love of sitting in a sunny spot. I'm saying nothing about the bandy legs!!


Mrs Daws called us recently to say that Didi had had to be put to sleep so she is without a Yorkshire Terrier for the first time since 1975 and that she would love to see Anya again if we were ever passing her way. Then she called again to say she'd had a fall and ended up in hospital. So we drove through torrential rain and lightning storms to Salisbury hospital, put Katie and Anya in a bag and made our way to the ward where the staff had agreed that we could surprise Mrs Daws and bring the dogs to see her in the Quiet Room. 

She was delighted to see them both but especially Anya who she must have missed terribly these last 18 months or so. It was lovely to see how happy this simple thing made her, an hour spent away from her bed in a wheelchair with a dog (sometimes two!) on her lap, chatting about all her days of dog shows and breeding puppies. It turns out Katie was born in a pub and Anya once had a puppy but really couldn't be bothered with it and so tried to hide it like she does now with toys that she no longer wants but doesn't want anyone else to have either! I think Nick in particular could really relate to the healing effect of all this and hopefully it will have helped make Mrs Daws's time in hospital a little more bearable. When we met with Dr Veale last week he was saying that Nick could have pretty much anything she wanted in her hospital room to make her time there a bit easier. Of course the first thing Nick said was, "dogs?". I think his response was, "Bloody hell Friedrich, give her an inch and she takes a mile!" There will be dogs held up to her window for sure.....good job she'll be on the ground floor!

Although we timed our long journey to fit in with hospital visiting times our final destination was Tunbridge Wells for another spot of reuniting. Nick's brother Giles is briefly back in the UK for the first time in three years so we wanted to take the opportunity to see him given that Nick isn't in hospital as we'd expected. Since moving out to South Africa Giles and his family have had a pretty tough time for one reason or another but things are looking up, life is finally getting back to normal for them thankfully. Giles is a clown and a great cook so it's hard not to have a good time when he's around. If I tell you that what passed for his best man's speech at our wedding were his impressions of 1) a weightlifter doing the clean and jerk and 2) a ski jumper you may start to get the picture. That's not to say he's not sentimental though, he also read a poem that didn't leave a dry eye in the tipi...and I think he cried almost as much as Nick and I did on that day 9 years and 4 days ago. Or it might've just been rain pouring down our faces!!

Today we went with Giles and Betty to have lunch with some friends who we haven't seen for ten years. They now have two lovely boys and different lives to when we were last together so it was brilliant to sit in their garden sharing delicious food, catching up and reminiscing, swapping music and books and of course doing press ups.

I think these connections, these reconnections are important, they make us feel tethered in a time of turbulence, remind us of the part we play in the lives of others and what part they play in ours. Whether it is someone with whom you've grown up and know intimately or someone who's life you have touched just briefly but meaningfully, our relationships are what make us who we are. When hatred seems to be on the rise it is often easiest to close our eyes, cover our ears or deaden our hearts so as not to feel the pain of others who are suffering for their beliefs or perhaps just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess this is a protective mechanism. We have to look after ourselves and those we love, and those who we may not know well enough to love but who we are connected to in some way. I've said it before but I make no apology for saying it again, we can only hit hate head-on with love and togetherness.

Anya and Mrs Daws picked up right where they left off with a kiss and a cuddle of course. The last time we saw Giles it was for a lovely lunch and a bottle of wine, so that's exactly what we did again this weekend. Yesterday I got a phone call from my nephew Dan, I passed the phone to Giles and they picked up right where they left off when they last saw each other five years ago, not with a kiss and a cuddle but by taking the piss out of each other's football team. 

Where would we be without our connections to other people? Sometimes they may drive us mad and we might crave solitude, peace and quiet, desperate for some time alone but most of us don't want this for too long. So we either connect via social media, the phone or we actually get together and share precious time however brief. This sometimes takes quite an effort but it is always worth it. Most of you won't be able to visit Nick in hospital, with or without dogs, but thanks to the technology we have today she will be able to talk to friends, see people on her screen, keep in touch with your lives and take healing strength from the fact that you are all there, somewhere, for her. And hopefully you'll still keep reading our blog.